He’d been here before. Every renter has. But this was different. This was the third time this month. The first time, a plumber named Keith had come, snorted, and pulled out a clump of hair the size a small, wet mammal. “Ladies,” Keith had said, winking at Jasper, who was very much not a lady. The second time, Jasper had tried the chemical stuff—the bottle with the dire skull and the words “DANGER: CORROSIVE.” It had cleared things for a week, but left the tub smelling like a swimming pool for angry robots.

He sat back on his heels. The logical part of his brain—the part that priced used paperbacks and alphabetized Vonnegut—screamed hair trap. Soap scum. Call Keith . But the animal part, the deep, mammalian hindbrain, whispered something else. Something lives in the pipes. Something that was here before Harold. Something that feeds on what washes away.

Prevention is less labor-intensive than remediation.

A long, dark rope of hair emerged, slick as an eel. Then another. But these weren’t his. They were far too long, with a strange, reddish tint. The previous tenant, he’d been told, was a man named Harold who’d worn tweed and collected stamps. Harold had been bald as a billiard ball.